There are essentially two worlds – the 'gay scene' and the gay (or LGBTIQ) community. “To all my friends who constantly talk disparagingly about the supposed 'homosexual lifestyle' and stereotype gay people and the community, I'd like to get this straight. You leave the darkness of the closet and begin a life of honesty, authenticity and freedom.”Ī Life of Unlearning - a journey to find the truth When you finally embrace the gift of your sexual orientation it IS the end the end of shame, fear and oppression. A suicide of the soul, identity and meaning. I spent most of my life trying to destroy the real me, doing all I could to ensure he never found expression. Hide it, kill it, eradicate it, heal it, deliver it, break it, suppress it, deny it, marry it to a woman, heterosexualize it, therapy it, anything and everything, but whatever you do don’t stand up one day and say “I am gay” because that will mean the end.
Never ever admit to yourself or anyone who you are. The constant conflict of being one person inside but presenting another on the outside for twenty-two years eventually took its toll. “According to my previous belief system, being a Christian and homosexual was not only incompatible like heaven and hell, they were in absolute opposition.
